Idk whats wrong with me i guess i want more than what i already have, and i know everything i want is out of my reach. Its never gonna happen. I know it. And it irks me even more when i know all of this yet i still continue to be in want, and i get disappointed over and over again. I know i never had a chance, and i never will. I told you, and myself even, that i'll forget about you, but its so freaking hard. Subconciously i'm waiting for a miracle even, and my prayers are all about you. Idk man, i never felt this way before , really. Never before in the past. These strong feelings are all so freaking new to me and im scared of the unknown. I dont wanna fall deeper han i already have. I dont want to wait. I dont ever want to think about you. I want to tell myself, im contented with being just friends.
But what im doing, is all otherwise. Somebody wake me up. I have enough feeling so insecure, doubtful and greedy. Im insecure, I wonder if you find me irritating, a girl who likes you messaging you. Full of doubts, what do you think of me? Greedy, i want to be more than friends.
I have enough of all of this. These negative thoughts constantly running through my head, constantly wondering, "Are you gonna message me?", constantly doubting myself. But its just so hard to stop it. My heart wont listen to my head.
Somebody, tell me what to do, please.
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